Phone call sketch #2 feat. Ms. Gov. Sarah P

According to media around the world, Sarah Palin’s “visit” in Ireland, was no more than a stop for refuelling the plane on which she was travelling with…

I personally called her up for a short interview, to get a few more details on the table:

- Yes?
- This is Writer, – Ms. Palin?
- Speaking, oh please call me Sarah P!
- How about that green island, they call Ireland, ms. Sarah P?
- Oh yes! Yes! I loved it, I loved it, Writer!
- What did you like the most in particular?
- Oh well… well… Writer, well… you know, Writer…
- Yes?
- Oh well, ok now, Writer.. the souvenir shop was just amazing, Writer!
- The souvenir shop?
- Well.. yes, and also the make-up shop, … just amazing, Writer.
- WELL DID YOU GET ANY LIPSTICK, OR WAS THE STOP TOO SHORT FOR THAT??!
- Well… what I tell you now, is my personal view on this matter, Writer, my personal view, ok, Writer?
- Ok, yes, what? What?
- See, I forgot toothpaste back home, so I focused very hard on that, and then I forgot all about lipstick.
- Oh you are such a pitbull, Sarah P…
- Well, ok, yes… I know…
- Do you lift one leg when you….?
- Well you know… that’s a personal matter, Writer….
- Yes, sorry, I know ms. P…
- Well ok, I can whisper you the truth, Writer.
- Ok?
- The truth is, that I lift both legs, when I.., you know.. and I just tell you, Writer, I just tell you…
- Yes… what, Sarah P?
- My butt gets so Goddam… – oops, sorry I can’t swear.. , my butt gets so sour from it!

Not a single word about Sarah Palin!

… although I’ve heard that the front singer is also the guy who prepared her for Charlie Gibson.

What can you say?

(please forgive me Muppets)

More nudity (tastefully cropped)

Who is this?

This campaign is growing big on nudity, as a former posting documents, as being the all-time most viewed in this blog’s short history. But the author of this blog is trying hard to get the voters back on track, and focus on what’s in the tin can, instead of the look of the label.

But before getting too serious, here’s a little quiz:

What does the illustration above show?
(Forgive me, there is no prize for answering correctly)

1. A republican

2. A democrat

3. A pro-abortion politician

4. A con-abortion politician

5. The author of this blog

6. A woman mr. Clinton did not have sexual relations with (yet)

7. The world’s first cloned politician

8. Pricewinner of a 1984 animal show

(If you know of a polling-system, working with WordPress, please let me know. I have tried a couple of different ones now, but without any luck.)

Has America forgotten all about change?

Since Sarah Palin went into the spotlight a couple of weeks ago, Barack/Biden – at least in particular Biden, has lost the media’s interest, as referred by CNN.

The mere ability of catching attention, is something that can’t be overestimated.

This tiny blog’s most visited posting, was the one claiming to show Sarah Palin in the nude. Wish I knew whether the viewers of the “censored” collage were democrats or republicans? I know for a fact, that a few were Saudis, one from United Arab Emirates, a few from New Dehli and even Idonesians…

Either way, I guess it was a dissapointment..

Come to think of it, an idea might be to promote Joe Biden in the same manner…. – but no, I’ll pass that thought.

But, back to my question: Has America forgotten all about change?

It’s always easy to smear an opponent (for me as well), but let me suggest all writing souls around the blogosphere to focus and promote the political ideas, ideals and visions of Obama/Biden and for that manner McCain/Palin. Focus on the differences, I hear they all are planning to deliver change.

I’ve got a lot tv-stations here at home. They’re all quite crappy. A few stand out as better; but overall – they’re crappy. Change can be good – but it demands change to the right thing, and not just a change to another type of crap.

It’s interesting how nudity and sex always sells, or gets attention. Soon things will once again be locked, for change, for another four years – and I’m sure that not everybody are aware, what they are about to buy…?

Palin vs. Gibson vs. pitbull vs. lipstick etc. etc…

Just another absurd photo collage (click image for original size)

By the way; check this out

Phone call sketch feat. Ms. Gov. Sarah Palin

- Yes?
- Is this mr. Shit’o'TypeWriter?
- SchizoTypeWriter, please..
- Well, whatever. Did you post me naked?
- Uhm… Mrs. Govenour Sarah Palin?
- Speaking!
- Yes?
- Did you or did you not post me naked?
- Uhm.. it was a kind of accident…
- What do you mean “accident?”
- My fingers slipped on the keyboard.
- I thought you used an old fashioned typewriter, hence the name?
- Oh… busted…
- You don’t use a Corona posting on the internet?
- It kind of broke down…
- Well let me tell you this!
- What?
- Try to put lipstick on it!
- Alas.. I already did that.
- Hm… maybe we should just drop it.
- Did that too. Hurt my toe very badly.
- Hahahahaha!
- I know…
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, PUT LIPSTICK ON THAT SHITOCRYWRITER

The Naked Truth – Mrs. Sarah Palin (warning – graphic contents!)

Naked Hockeylipstick Mom (censored)

(No animals were harmed during the process of creating this graphic footage)

Lots of discussion has emerged within the last day or two, as to what senator Barack Obama meant, when he said: “You can put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.”

Was it a referral to Mrs. Sarah Palins remark, that the only difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom was – lipstick? – Or was it really a general metafor used to describe McCain/Palins policy, compared to what President George W. Bush stands for?

Well I certainly don’t have the boldness to judge in this matter.

Parallel to the discussion above, the demand for graphic photos (i.e. Sarah Palin naked) is rising around the uncontrollable internet. This blog is pleased to be the first blog on the internet, able to fulfill the wishes of all the perverts out there. Shame on you, I say!

Unfortunately, I had the dubious luck, finding an original photograph featuring a naked, though properly censored for the occation, Mrs. Sarah Palin, in her hottest outfit, proving that she is truely a real hockey mom – including her hockeylipstick.

Why McCain will win the presidential election over Obama

Naming Sarah Palin (and not a word in this article about lipstick, dogs or any other creatures by the way!) senator John McCains vice-presidential candidate, McCain coupled up with a woman, seeming to fulfill what to me looks like an American archetype of a couple of persons radiating safety and cosiness.

I began wondering what was so familiar about the whole look and appearance of John McCain side-by-side with Sarah Plain (forgive me, that was an unintended typo, I discovered reading through again – and then, I kind of liked it) Palin.

The answer much to my surprise, was Candid Camera!

In this all-time, cosy, funny, and slightly daring tv-show, we see the same pattern, regarding the show-hosts: A mature, slightly distinguished, but not too intellectual elderly male, side-by-side a clearly younger, good-looking, or at least attempting-to-look-good, type-casted female. (E.g. Peter Funt/Suzanne Somers)

Et voilà! There you have it, my dear friends – I bet a dollar, that McCain-Palin will win the election, because they remind the most of what is cosy, safe, yet slightly daring, and most importantly perhaps; not to be taking all too seriously: The future hosts of The White House in Washington D.C. – the cloned hosts of Smile… you’re on Candid Camera!

(Please refer to this text, in the same context as you would refer to the Jon Stewart Daily Show.)

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Lance Armstrong returns…, why?

As stated around in the newsworld within the last 24 hours, the seven-fold winner of the Tour de France, will return in the cycling-sports next year.

Why?

According to Armstrong himself, he wants to boost public awareness on the issue of cancer. Giving it a little thought, who can claim, that is not a very honorable reason?

Certainly, I can’t.

As claimed in this excerpt from The International Herald Tribune -

Stapleton cautioned that Armstrong’s return would not necessarily be well received by everyone involved in cycling. Although Armstrong’s career was filled with amazing achievements, it was not without its dark clouds. As a rider, he was dogged by suspicions about doping.

“He can be polarizing,” Stapleton said. “There may be a different view in Europe about this than in the United States. It’s a provocative issue.”

- I as a European, or perhaps just, as a now-and-then-cycling sports-viewer stumbled upon this thought:

I can’t help wonder, if Lance Armstrong, as so many of his fellow competitors were indeed doped – with the exception, that Armstrong was only a little bit wiser and smarter, so he never got caught. (I believe, having heard Armstrong communicating with the media, that he is definitely intelligent, way above the average of cycling sports riders in general.)

- and if so… with these day’s more efficient doping controls, he thought this thought: “If everybody are clean, or at least much cleaner in general today, than four or five years ago, then could I win the Tour one more time, clean?”

I have to admit it: It’s obviously pure speculation from my side. It’s questioning very noble motifs and reasons on his behalf, but then again: Someone has to ask…

What do you think?

How do I play Blackbird by The Beatles?

The internet contains numerous sites dedicated to teach and share how to play specific songs on guitar. I too play the guitar, just for fun, don’t perform anywhere.

Now for starters, I’d like to recommend chordie.com. Here you will tabs and chords, sometimes lyrics too for a huge number of songs – and you can even make the page auto-scroll down, while progressing playing the tune of your choise.

Here e.g. is a detailed tablature for the lovely song Blackbird by The Beatles.

The weakness of the tablature is, that it is not quite obvious how the notes are to be played, rhythmically, or for how long, they each should be held – so, a video might just be nice, to help us out. Well, YouTube contains lots of material by fully or semi-amateur guitarists, who are only happy to teach us, what they know. Just look at the example below, which is a bit atypical, because it really just seems to ripped from a commercial DVD, and thereby hardly legal.

So, what is left? Well you may want to know the full lyrics for Blackbird – find it here for example at LyricsFreak - and now, combining it all together, you can play one more song today, compared to yesterday.

- oh, and why not end this by taking a look at, and listen to, how Paul McCartney delivers the song himself:

Finally the best news of all: The site Video-tabs.com is already doing this job of gathering video tutorials and tabs together in one site, so look at their archive, and see, if there are other songs that you’d like to learn to play on guitar.